I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
