A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
