I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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