You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
