How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize