but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
