Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
