I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
high people should be assigned attendants
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
