are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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