I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
MIDGETS
????
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
