Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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