im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
