I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
