You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
