my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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