During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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