If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
