Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
should my penis look like a turkey
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
