no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
