I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
