I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
