i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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