I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
