Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
