can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize