So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
