Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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