Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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