Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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