Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize