Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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