when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
