I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
