I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
