My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
