Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My vagina just recognized that song.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
