i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
