I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
