Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
