Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
