I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize