Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You pole danced in your parka.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
