If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
