I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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