i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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