i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
