Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
