Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
