You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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