This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
