No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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