my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
