just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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