i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
