i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
