Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
