Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave