OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.