Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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