yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
