they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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