i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
