I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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