i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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